sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
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Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
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What happened to fro yo and sex?
Sorry about my life...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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