Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
