Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
We are all done wearing pants today
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
