if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
