I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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