make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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