Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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