You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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