Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Being persistent has its perks my friend.

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(609): I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking. (215): Being persistent has its perks my friend. http://tfl.nu/wzcm

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(609): View more from New Jersey

WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.

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(609): WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/kof5

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(515): View more from Iowa

there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.

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(515): there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up. (1-515): yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that. http://tfl.nu/isva

Replies (9) Good night (2619) Bad night (716)
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(661): View more from California

i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.

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(661): i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally. http://tfl.nu/2rgg

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(718): View more from New York

You don't think I'm weird or immature right?

(917): View more from New York City

No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets

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(718): You don't think I'm weird or immature right? (917): No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets http://tfl.nu/6cpc

Replies (40) Good night (4595) Bad night (3843)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.

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(303): I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history. http://tfl.nu/d9a3

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(310): View more from California

but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.

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(310): but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps. http://tfl.nu/w1cf

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.

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(908): You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream. http://tfl.nu/u0h5

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(618): View more from Illinois

It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.

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(618): It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over. http://tfl.nu/n4d4

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level

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(203): Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level http://tfl.nu/l6je

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(301): View more from Maryland

well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...

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(301): well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train... http://tfl.nu/vvir

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(323): View more from California

We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.

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(323): We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40. http://tfl.nu/6iay

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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(402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...

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(505): I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory... http://tfl.nu/vjel

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(425): View more from Washington

I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.

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(425): I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings. http://tfl.nu/8k6q

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