well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
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well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's shark week go big or go home
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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