Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti

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  (770): I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti http://tfl.nu/zbwe
  Replies (36) Good night (23346) Bad night (1311)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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  (518): He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock. http://tfl.nu/iuj0
  Replies (4) Good night (775) Bad night (2487)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  make any headway on the foot/dick situation?

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  (216): make any headway on the foot/dick situation? http://tfl.nu/ein6
  Replies (7) Good night (666) Bad night (2120)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you

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  (517): Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you http://tfl.nu/77p0
  Replies (22) Good night (5353) Bad night (698)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

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  (203): Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end. http://tfl.nu/e1gy
  Replies (56) Good night (9095) Bad night (1658)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.

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  (815): i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head. http://tfl.nu/g1i4
  Replies (5) Good night (2007) Bad night (1678)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.

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  (252): OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD. http://tfl.nu/ob5y
  Replies (20) Good night (848) Bad night (4627)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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  (562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt
  Replies (2) Good night (909) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...

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  (307): My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls... http://tfl.nu/pef0
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog

  (989): View more from Michigan

  They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.

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  (989): I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog (989): They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries. http://tfl.nu/meap
  Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"

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  (616): He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!" http://tfl.nu/zjl5
  Replies (1) Good night (768) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell

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  (201): Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell http://tfl.nu/payj
  Replies (5) Good night (2687) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.

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  (803): So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops. http://tfl.nu/g5jw
  Replies (0) Good night (237) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert

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  (727): Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert http://tfl.nu/aye6
  Replies (5) Good night (582) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.

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  (610): My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night. http://tfl.nu/dw42
  Replies (0) Good night (238) Bad night (383)

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