Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

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  (732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr
  Replies (7) Good night (2120) Bad night (871)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

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  (586): I need a shot of tequila, and quick death http://tfl.nu/qciv
  Replies (5) Good night (746) Bad night (944)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.

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  (734): I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore. http://tfl.nu/34d1
  Replies (12) Good night (3937) Bad night (772)
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  (619): View more from California

  My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.

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  (619): My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words. http://tfl.nu/bbmw
  Replies (27) Good night (720) Bad night (5276)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.

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  (609): he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/w4ku
  Replies (17) Good night (774) Bad night (6790)
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  (714): View more from California

  So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.

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  (714): So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life. http://tfl.nu/wgtn
  Replies (32) Good night (1172) Bad night (5788)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.

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  (402): Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance. http://tfl.nu/wzxx
  Replies (8) Good night (1109) Bad night (2911)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.

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  (334): Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram. http://tfl.nu/7u9p
  Replies (2) Good night (1725) Bad night (845)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on

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  (913): So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on http://tfl.nu/dyrr
  Replies (3) Good night (2499) Bad night (1200)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer

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  (614): last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer http://tfl.nu/8528
  Replies (5) Good night (1669) Bad night (526)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.

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  (989): You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem. http://tfl.nu/ijrf
  Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (358)
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  (+81): View more from

  He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????

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  (+81): He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave???? http://tfl.nu/srpt
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (367)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have suspicion of morning wood.

  (281): View more from Texas

  How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?

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  (832): I have suspicion of morning wood. (281): How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis? http://tfl.nu/x95m
  Replies (4) Good night (866) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  It's like we're not even friends

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  (318): How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2? (870): I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living (318): It's like we're not even friends http://tfl.nu/vpni
  Replies (5) Good night (1313) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.

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  (606): Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS. http://tfl.nu/h9rk
  Replies (2) Good night (283) Bad night (261)

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