True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.