one might say we're banned from that church
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
