Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
