Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize