??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
