alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Pooping to opera.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
