sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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