if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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