no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
