my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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