i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
The air taste purple.
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