So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
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i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
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I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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