I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
