Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
