i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
