You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
