A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
