would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
