Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize