we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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