i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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