hotel room ftw
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Just pee around me
Well I just put wine in my tea
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
