I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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