what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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