oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
