so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
