so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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