Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
