How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She made me pour olive oil on her.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
