what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
