Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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