Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize