Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
