I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
