So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize