I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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