at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
