just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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