I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
