Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
your thong is hanging out like whoa
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
