Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
