Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Please don't give away my fajitas
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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