I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
