some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
