she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
