i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
