I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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