Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
