So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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