I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Holy sore nipples Batman
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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