You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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