honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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