people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We had to coat check the pizza.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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