carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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