That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
