he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
