He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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