My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
